when McGonagall finds out that Ginny is pregnant, and that the Weasley and Potter bloodlines will converge, she marks on her calender the day the child will turn 11 and that is the day she retires
I have a friend who is dyslexic and one time he said “I put the sexy into dyslexia” and he waited for like thirty seconds and just went “fuck.”
im a bad person who thinks bad thoughts like ‘ew what is that girl wearing’ and then remember that im supposed to be positive about all things and then think ‘no she can wear what she wants, fuck what other people say damn girl u look fabulous’ and im just a teeny bit hypocritical tbh
I was always taught by my mother, That the first thought that goes through your mind is what you have been conditioned to think. What you think next defines who you are.
Headcanon that after the battle of Hogwarts, George dyes his hair an outrageous colour, and at first Molly is mad, but then she hears George whisper “I kept thinking it was him in the mirror”.
|Me:||So sometimes I'm a boy, but sometimes I'm a girl.|
|Grandma:||I have enough idiot granddaughters already|
|Grandma:||But I also have enough idiot grandsons, so having an idiot who isn't really either one is kind of refreshing.|
|My mom:||Alex, can you come pick up these LEGOs?|
|Me:||Yeah... *doesn't move at all*|
|Grandma:||Katie, go pick up the LEGOs|
|Me:||Yeah, alright *goes to pick up LEGOs*|
|Grandma:||See, you addressed the boy, but I addressed the girl. Boys are lazy, girls get crap done.|
One of my favourite things about Harry Potter is that Harry is such an unreliable narrator, not because he’s lying, but because he was so oblivious, just about anything could be going on under his nose and he wouldn’t even notice. It’s great because it supports basically every headcanon. Like, no, Harry would not have noticed if Sirius and Remus were dating, I know he’s The Chosen One but he’s about as perspective as a pile of bricks.